Reader: Dear Mr. Snicket, What is the best way to keep a secret?
Lemony Snicket: Tell it to everyone you know, but pretend you are kidding.
Bro 1: bro let's get matching anchor tattoos
Bro 2: why bro?
Bro 1: so our broship doesn't float away
Bro 2: bro..

disastr:

the most iconic song lyric will always be
“tell your boyfriend that if he’s got beef that I’m a vegetarian and I ain’t fuckin scared of him”

unflaws:

I slept almost all day but almost is never enough

worsting:

real friends are those ones who answer at your messages in 0.2 seconds and those ones who want to talk with you all day long 

2547446:

y’all ever take a pic and be like this ain’t even my skin color

" Everything interests me, but nothing holds me. "

- Fernando Pessoa (via thelostdeer)

spookyshire:

harryhickey:

MOZZARELLA STICKS ARE GROSS

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